Home / Reflections of a Wife

Oct

01

Courageous Movie Review

Posted by : Doug | On : October 1, 2011

Category: Reflections of a Dad, Reflections of a Husband, Reflections of a Mother, Reflections of a Wife, The Long Road of Parenting, Uncategorized

Tags:, ,


If you are the father of a daughter, see this movie.

If you are the wife of a husband you want to know better, see this movie.

If you are a parent who has lost a child, see this movie.

If you are a mother to a child who’s father is checked out or absent, see this movie.

If you want to stop living life by default, paycheck to paycheck, wondering about the purpose, see this movie.

And, if you are a dad to a son, see this movie.

I love Christ.  I love his heart.  I’m all-in.  But I’m the last guy to push an overtly “Jesus-saves” flick.  I just don’t think that’s how he himself reached people.  I was apprehensive that the “Courageous” movie trailer would give the impression of a fast-paced, emotional drama and then just turn into a pulpit pitch.

As I write this after a short nap from 1am to sunrise (the early show was sold out…all weekend) I realize that my sleep was restful for the first time in several weeks.

Maybe it was the beautiful sushi dinner Judy and I shared for nearly two hours.  Maybe it was just unplugging from the Matrix with her for the evening.  Or maybe it was the tears and laughter for over two hours watching Courageous.

What REALLY surprised me was how hard I laughed!  The dialogues were hysterical.  No exaggeration.

And maybe I’m a bit emotionally raw from fatigue right now, but this movie hit some serious chords for me and I found tears very near the surface all through the second half.  Perhaps the most poignant question from the movie for me was “I just want to know what God expects from me?”.

My heart was filled by this movie.  I was so impressed.  So blessed by it.

If this is still opening weekend when you read this (Oct. 1/2), go see this movie.  For all the obvious reasons of wanting to put more life-giving movies into theatres but mostly because it will do your heart good.  I’m certain of that.

P.S. “Courageous” is centered around 4 men and their families and their walk with God.  They talk about God.  They talk about Jesus.  They talk about accepting him.  And that’s OK.  Don’t be afraid to get into this conversation with a friend, a spouse or even with your own heart.  Yes, take a non-believer to this film.  No hesitations there.

Sep

29

Precious

Posted by : Judy | On : September 29, 2011

Category: Living an Epic Life, Reflections of a Mother, Reflections of a Wife

I love when God says the same thing in multiple ways until you just have to listen!! It had been a roller coaster week, both busy wise and emotion wise. Last Thursday, I was at my end emotionally and a teddybear kleenex commercial could have sent me to tears!

As I was leaving for a BBQ, my very good friend Melissa shared that I was precious to her and she would always have time for me. Well, let me tell you, the waterworks opened up! I hadn’t realized the depth of that statement. I had been feeling anything but precious that day and that spoke to my heart like nothing I had ever heard. As I reflected on that statement, I thought of how God was also telling me:

“Judy, you are precious to me and I will always have time for you.”

“Wow! Really God, you do?”

“YES”

Then the God moments started happening. First,I found an Easter reflection that talked about the precious gift of time. In the same moment, a devotional book sharing that we, as members of a family, are jewels to our Father and are precious. I then found a card given by a lovely friend of ours, written years ago that called each of the children precious. It was so cool! I then came to the third layer of this gift in that not only had my friend called me precious, and God called me precious but I now need to find the preciousness in others around me, my husband, children, friends and even strangers. That is our calling as Christians, is it not? Keep the hearts first, those precious hearts!

This morning I was given yet another layer to this gift (when will it end :) ) I was given a powerful YouTube video by my Mom for Mother’s Day. It talked of the preciousness of every day. Yesterday, the day flew by with me living in what I wished to be and what had been done wrong, losing all sight of the preciousness of the everyday. Now I look back. “Why did I not stop and enjoy that moment? That was a good moment.”

I vow today to live in the moment and enjoy its preciousness. For one day the ordinary will be no longer.

The power of a word…

You are precious. God thinks you are precious. The people around you are precious. This moment is precious.

Aug

28

BOOK WARNING!! – Love and War by John and Stasi Eldredge

Posted by : Doug | On : August 28, 2010

Category: Book Picks o' the Month, Reflections of a Husband, Reflections of a Wife

Tags:, , , ,

WARNING!

Do not proceed lightly.

Love and War by John and Stasi Eldredge

Quick backstory.  Judy (my wife) and I will be hitting our 15th year of marriage in 2010.  We’ve been dating for 20 years.  Yep, high school sweethearts.  Six kids.  We’ve committed to having Judy home with the kids, including homeschooling all of them.  We’ve made ministry (primarily youth ministry) our pursuit, our mission, our lifestyle.  That’s the setting of our marriage story.  That’s where we’ve found ourselves in the larger story.  And along come John and Stasi Eldredge.  First it was “Wild at Heart”.  As a farm boy, this book put words to my life and set my heart on the mission for young boys, teenagers and men.  Then, we experienced “Sacred Romance” and “Desire” together.  Transforming.  Enter “Captivating”.  (I read it first.  Guys, take a hint.)  Judy went to Colorado.  On the phone from the airport returning home, Judy’s voice is quivering.  “It was the most incredible weekend of my life.”  She couldn’t say more.  We opened our house to “Epic” and 25 people on Sunday nights for 8 weeks.  Without a doubt, there is an anointing happening with the work “Ransomed Heart” is doing and we’re honored (and deeply challenged) to an ally on the Canadian front.

“Love and War” (http://www.loveandwar.net) is the most recent release of John and Stasi Eldredge.  Their tagline is “Finding the Marriage You Dreamed Of“.  Let me say right off the bat, I AM NOT a fan of marriage books.  In fact, they make me gag a bit.  For the most part, I feel like the typical marriage book is a re-hash of my Psychology 324 class.  Communication, money, kids, “his” time, “her” time, blah, blah, blah.  Theory.  Tips.  Were these authors really married?  And, mark my words, it’s only because of the credibility John and Stasi have built up with us that we picked up “Love and War”.  And within the first pages, I realized I was reading something very different.  The first chapter “Remembering What We Wanted”, set me back on my heels.  What did I want in marriage?  When I first proposed, I was 20.  Our church required us to take a marriage preparation course (oh the wisdom!).  As one of the exercises, we were to individually lay out goals for our marriage.  When Judy and I came back together to compare notes, I was hit with the stark realization that all of the goals I listed were my goals.  Goals for me.  Judy had got it.  I had missed it.  Upon reading the first chapter, I was forced to confront this again, from another angle.

At that point, Judy and I agreed to read it together.  One chapter at a time.  A significant task in itself.  This has been the most significant journey we have made together as a couple in terms of our sharing and realizations.

BUT I HAVE TO WARN YOU.

We woke up one Sunday morning (Our major quiet time together. 2 hours, coffee and tea, no kids.) having been through roughly half of the book.  And Judy said, “I don’t know if I want to read any further.“  We were coming to a realization.  We have an incredible relationship, truly blessed.  Forged by a lot of fire in ministry.  But with six kids, a significant mission, a business on the side and a very active marriage relationship we had been fatigued and this book was waking us up to EVEN MORE life.  Depth.  Hunger for each other.  Intentionality.  Difficult conversations.  Deeper prayer.  It had exposed us, as a couple, to each other.  It had exposed us, as a couple, before God.  And it was raising some serious questions and deep (sometimes difficult) conversations.  What is our shared adventure?  How do I hold myself back from her?  What do I ask from her that I need to get from God?  Incredible depth.  And healing.

John and Stasi have presented “Love and War” as a very vulnerable look into their lives as a couple.  Their stories are real.  There is an edge to their honesty that will prompt you to ask the question “Am I willing to risk this with my spouse?“.

I believe it’s God’s promise that his presence and blessing is directly proportional to our willingness to risk.  With that promise in mind, I want to give you the utmost confidence and blessing to undertake this book with your spouse.  Or, if they may not be ready, begin it on your own.  It will raise your awareness toward them and you will begin to see doors open.

My deepest thanks to John and Stasi.  The fullest of blessings on you and your boys and their future wives.

Apr

16

Quest for the Heart Series – Forged and Romanced

Posted by : Doug | On : April 16, 2010

Category: Reflections of a Dad, Reflections of a Husband, Reflections of a Mother, Reflections of a Warrior, Reflections of a Wife, Uncategorized

God’s after two things in us, during our time here.  He’s after our hearts and after our healing.  God desires our hearts to come alive with our deepest desires and to bring those to bear on the world.  And he desperately wants to see us restored, our hurts healed.  The two go hand in hand.  And he accomplishes this differently in men and in woman.  For men, our restoration comes in the form of a journey, a series of events of initiation.  In these events we uncover the love of a True Father, that shapes us into men.  For women, restoration comes primarily through relationship and beauty.  To be truly seen and recognized as vital and beautiful, women come to the fullest understanding of God’s image in them.  In the coming weeks, we will share together and alone, as men and as women, who and how God is awakening and restoring our hearts.

Join us on Sunday nights for the next 8 weeks or so as the men and women share together and separately, just what God is after in our lives.  For more, click here: Sunday night gatherings.

Mar

11

We Are Available

Posted by : Doug | On : March 11, 2009

Category: God Through the Seasons, In the Life of a Teenager, Just Wanted to Say..., Keep the Body Temple Clean, Life's Toughest Questions, Living Alive, Living an Epic Life, Real Life, Real Faith, Reflections of a Dad, Reflections of a Husband, Reflections of a Mother, Reflections of a Warrior, Reflections of a Wife, The Legendsong Chronicles, The Long Road of Parenting, Walking with God, Wild and Free, Wisdom of the Elders

Tags:,

Good morning! Oh my Lord. There is SO much in my little ol’ pea brain right now! Right now, I wanted to share with you that if your group, company, church or other organization is in need of some renewal, focus, vision or bonding, Judy and I are available for a very limited number of speaking and facilitation engagements in the next year!

We want to hear from you and see if there is a place we can serve you and your mission. From one hour consultations to three day retreats.

Please contact us and book early!

We can cover any number of topics. Have a look around the blog and you’ll get an idea of our vision and mission.

E-mail me at intothewilderness@gmail.com.

Looking forward!

Doug and Judy

Mar

10

Doug and Judy’s Pillow Talk

Posted by : Doug | On : March 10, 2009

Category: Living Alive, Living an Epic Life, Reflections of a Wife

Tags:, ,

I know (KNOW!) that this title got you curious. Part of you said “EWWW…no way! I do NOT want to know!” But a part of your brain, tucked backed in the primitive recesses of your ancestral urgings forced your finger to click on the link to find your way here. Perhaps it wasn’t even completely conscious but suddenly, you found yourself staring at this potentially scandalous post.

Yes, I know. Six kids. Who’s got time to talk?!

Well, Judy and I do. And it’s the nights where we put sleep off just a little longer so we can share some of our deepest thoughts from the day.

And the other night was just such a night.

I couldn’t even tell you the context of the conversation or what it was all about. But I know we were talking about the grind of day to day life and the choices we get to make. Sometimes those choices, while completely ours, we make them nearly unconsciously. Or we make them in such a fit of frenzied activity that we give them little attention.

We choose how we react to the latest cup of spilled milk. We choose to spend our evening surfing Crackbook. We choose anger over patience. We choose hurried-ness over attentiveness. We spend a large portion of our day choosing by reaction rather than decision.

And it was in the midst of this conversation that Judy dropped this one simple statement.

“How we live our days is how we live our lives.”

And it hung there in the air. Like a delicate down feather. Perfectly quiet and yet full of presence.

And at the end of our lives, we have all lived them one day at a time.

I’m going to go give my kids a real kiss goodnight.

For you all,

Doug and Judy

(My wife is a wise women. She is a blessing to me, day in and day out.  I love you Judy.)