If you are the father of a daughter, see this movie.

If you are the wife of a husband you want to know better, see this movie.

If you are a parent who has lost a child, see this movie.

If you are a mother to a child who’s father is checked out or absent, see this movie.

If you want to stop living life by default, paycheck to paycheck, wondering about the purpose, see this movie.

And, if you are a dad to a son, see this movie.

I love Christ.  I love his heart.  I’m all-in.  But I’m the last guy to push an overtly “Jesus-saves” flick.  I just don’t think that’s how he himself reached people.  I was apprehensive that the “Courageous” movie trailer would give the impression of a fast-paced, emotional drama and then just turn into a pulpit pitch.

As I write this after a short nap from 1am to sunrise (the early show was sold out…all weekend) I realize that my sleep was restful for the first time in several weeks.

Maybe it was the beautiful sushi dinner Judy and I shared for nearly two hours.  Maybe it was just unplugging from the Matrix with her for the evening.  Or maybe it was the tears and laughter for over two hours watching Courageous.

What REALLY surprised me was how hard I laughed!  The dialogues were hysterical.  No exaggeration.

And maybe I’m a bit emotionally raw from fatigue right now, but this movie hit some serious chords for me and I found tears very near the surface all through the second half.  Perhaps the most poignant question from the movie for me was “I just want to know what God expects from me?”.

My heart was filled by this movie.  I was so impressed.  So blessed by it.

If this is still opening weekend when you read this (Oct. 1/2), go see this movie.  For all the obvious reasons of wanting to put more life-giving movies into theatres but mostly because it will do your heart good.  I’m certain of that.

P.S. “Courageous” is centered around 4 men and their families and their walk with God.  They talk about God.  They talk about Jesus.  They talk about accepting him.  And that’s OK.  Don’t be afraid to get into this conversation with a friend, a spouse or even with your own heart.  Yes, take a non-believer to this film.  No hesitations there.

As I was leaving for a BBQ, my very good friend Melissa shared that I was precious to her and she would always have time for me. Well, let me tell you, the waterworks opened up! I hadn’t realized the depth of that statement. I had been feeling anything but precious that day and that spoke to my heart like nothing I had ever heard. As I reflected on that statement, I thought of how God was also telling me:

“Judy, you are precious to me and I will always have time for you.”

“Wow! Really God, you do?”

“YES”

Then the God moments started happening. First,I found an Easter reflection that talked about the precious gift of time. In the same moment, a devotional book sharing that we, as members of a family, are jewels to our Father and are precious. I then found a card given by a lovely friend of ours, written years ago that called each of the children precious. It was so cool! I then came to the third layer of this gift in that not only had my friend called me precious, and God called me precious but I now need to find the preciousness in others around me, my husband, children, friends and even strangers. That is our calling as Christians, is it not? Keep the hearts first, those precious hearts!

This morning I was given yet another layer to this gift (when will it end ) I was given a powerful YouTube video by my Mom for Mother’s Day. It talked of the preciousness of every day. Yesterday, the day flew by with me living in what I wished to be and what had been done wrong, losing all sight of the preciousness of the everyday. Now I look back. “Why did I not stop and enjoy that moment? That was a good moment.”

I vow today to live in the moment and enjoy its preciousness. For one day the ordinary will be no longer.

The power of a word…

You are precious. God thinks you are precious. The people around you are precious. This moment is precious.

Below is a podcast by the ministry at Ransomed Heart.  They publish an almost weekly podcast that has given me so much.  You can subscribe to the podcast here: Ransomed Heart Podcast.

I’ve heard this podcast before.  And I listened again this week.  Why am I SO forgetful!  I needed to hear it again.  And, if you are in the midst of a vacation or “pause in the action”, I thought it might be real helpful for you to.  God wants to work something in us during our periods of rest.  I need to allow Him that room.  I hope this is helpful for you to hear and I pray you are being restored during your rest time.

Just press the “play” button!

The Gift Of An Ordinary Day from Katrina Kenison on Vimeo.

And then there were people who, from beginning to end, have been both personal and anonymous allies and true friends in that journey.  They have illuminated our calling.  They oriented us to who we are, where we belong in God’s great story and what our journey is about.  One man, Gary Barkalow, is only just learning how he impacted us.  Gary impacted us by fully living his own calling.

In our work with the hearts of so many teens and adults, we have so often heard the question “what is my purpose?”.  Or “why am I here?”.  Gary, in his newly launched book “It’s Your Call” has dove deeply into leading you and I to become intimate with who God created us to be and the role God’s given us in the Greater Story of the Gospel.

I’m so grateful for Gary’s three main pillars that have been incredibly meaningful as we have pursued our call.

Story

There is always more going on than meets the eye.  Most of us live under the impression that this world is fairly benign and we are limited in our impact and role.  When in actuality there is an incredible legend being lived out and part of that legend is each of us becoming who we were created to be.  We are in a process of overcoming and becoming.  Overcoming brokenness, insignificance, dismissal and becoming glorious, extraordinary and desperately needed.

Desire

It seems like such a simple answer.  Actually pinpointing our calling is only a matter of uncovering our truest desires.  As Gary puts it, “What you were created to do is revealed in the form of your desires”.  Not your desire for a tub of rocky road ice cream on Friday night.  The deep desire, those things that were true and real to you when you were little.  Those things that you get lost in for hours, where people watch you and say “She was in her glory!”.  THAT desire.  God reveals our calling through our desire.  You were created to DO what you truly LOVE.

Journey

“If we fail to remember there is a process, a progression, a journey that every person must take, we will misinterpret and misunderstand life.  We are on a pilgrimage – a long journey to a sacred place for a sacred purpose.”  Right from the book.  We are meant to grow.  God is after our progressive transformation.  We are no longer who we were and we are not yet who we will become, but we are well on our way.

When we keep these three pillars as our means of measurement, our determiners of whether we are living our call, we come to realize that God is not sitting there waiting for us to “get it right”.  There are no “divine expectations”.  Only that we stay facing Him.

I have read no better book on calling.  Most are a weak attempt at giving you “10 steps” or “tips and techniques”, heaping on the to-do list all the things that you need to get right.  Gary breaks it all open and shares clearly that this is a story and you were created for an incredible, world-changing role.

Buy a copy of Gary’s book at http://www.thenobleheart.com/store.

For the full post, click here:

http://thenobleheart.com/2010/10/go-with-what-you-know/

Over the years I have met many gifted, aware, devoted people who felt lost, stuck or paralyzed in the pursuit of their calling. Then, of course, I have my own paralysis. Every story and conversation about this issue has caused me to ask “why”.

We have all acted out of what we have believed (be it falsehood or truth) or what we have owned about ourselves at a deep heart level. So, I have scribbled down a few ideas that I will think will help to counter the debilitating ideas that float around concerning the issue of calling.

Go with what you know. You are only responsible for what you currently know, keeping in mind that what you know is partial and incomplete. Walk in the clarity that God has given you – only then will He give you more.

Let go of what you don’t love. Coming to grips with what you don’t love is valuable – it’s not wasted time. We waste a lot of time and energy feeling guilty and condemned over the things that we are not passionate about.

Live like an artist. Develop and create your art simply because you love it, not for a paycheck, approval or promotion.

Keep income and calling separate in your thinking. Don’t complicate things by putting these two together. At some point, they may merge, but one must not be dependent on the other.

“Don’t let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do.”-John Wooden. Start creating and offering what God has put in you with whatever resources you have in terms available time, technology, contacts, and opportunities. Don’t wait for someone to endorse or “anoint” you, for “large” audiences, a paycheck, position, title or a degree.

God is simply asking us to live honestly and generously in the place we are already in. We must offer the brilliance, strength, beauty, abundance, and splendor God has given us. Walking in our calling does not often require a big transition or life change like quitting a job, starting something new, or living somewhere else.

The development of the weightiness of our life is of utmost importance. Growth always includes knowledge, experience/experimentation, being mentored / coached / modeled, time for assimilation and maturing (fermentation).

Don’t wait for things to be “ideal” – Don’t wait for a job or position offer, endorsements, a certain amount in savings or an inheritance, or a close community of friends and allies to begin walking out your call.

God is comfortable with your trying. God is not afraid and you are not in great danger…if your idea has passed the “moral” and “ethical” filter and you understand your role (husband / wife, father / mother, employee, etc.). Get the perspective of others. Just ask – people are always willing to lend their insight to you.

1 Samuel 10:6,7 The Spirit of the Lord will come upon you in power…and you will be changed into a different person. Once these signs are fulfilled, do whatever your hand finds to do, for God is with you.

There is a difference between waiting on God and procrastination, between moving in faith with an assurance of God’s love and striving.

Trying to understand the difference and living on the right side,

Gary

***********

Note from Doug – Gary Barkalow is releasing his new book “It’s Your Call“.  I’ve been privileged to preview this breakthrough book.  Look for it in my next post.  For now, you can order it from his site at http://www.thenobleheart.com/store.

There’s nothing in life that gets me charged like witnessing young men (all teenagers still) scramble, scrap, laugh, sweat, eat and love life. It was pure privilege to join the senior boys football team this year on their biennial trip to play and challenge themselves in California. It’s hard to summarize what it’s like to be a part of 38 boys fully enjoying Disneyland, “all-you-can-eat buffets” and a substantially challenging football game. It’s a dynamic tension between the laughter of the children they still are and the bold, strong young men they are becoming. I could tell you about the 250 lb. linebacker squealing his way through the “House of Horrors” or the scary 20 minutes for all of us when Brett went down in the 1st quarter and was taken to hospital on a spine board or I could tell you about the 45 minutes we were stuck in the elevator with 15 football players, one woman from Saskatchew and and temperatures hitting +40oC with 100% humidity and how we had to be extracted by the Orange County fire department.

Those are all stories, landmarks on the journey. Relational memories. But what I really want to tell you is what these young men did for my heart, for the hearts of their coaches and their school. They fought hard. They learned lessons. They represented. They showed compassion. They led by example. They hurt. They rallied. And, I know, they came back stronger young men.

Through it all, I was thankful to witness the strong hearts of their coaches and trainers and the love they have for them. As we struggle and suffer and reach heights of success, so much of our reaction to our journey, is based on interpretation. We need good people around us who offer that interpretation. What do you do with a 51-0 loss? As a young man, giving it his all on the field, facing down a team much faster and more experienced? How do you interpret that? Do you just unplug? “Oh well. Nothing I can do.” Or do you blame yourself? When you have coaches who love you and know you, they give you the interpretation you need. They tell you what you did right. They tell you what to do different. They hold you up. They tell you that you have what it takes, regardless the score. They love you through it.

This trip was an exceptional quest, after something deeper than a football game. It was a fantastic leg of the journey from boy to man.

“The journey of a boy becoming a man is not a spectator sport. It is something that must be entered into. It is one part instruction and nine parts experience.”

(from “Fathered by God” by John Eldredge)

Do not proceed lightly.

Quick backstory.  Judy (my wife) and I will be hitting our 15th year of marriage in 2010.  We’ve been dating for 20 years.  Yep, high school sweethearts.  Six kids.  We’ve committed to having Judy home with the kids, including homeschooling all of them.  We’ve made ministry (primarily youth ministry) our pursuit, our mission, our lifestyle.  That’s the setting of our marriage story.  That’s where we’ve found ourselves in the larger story.  And along come John and Stasi Eldredge.  First it was “Wild at Heart”.  As a farm boy, this book put words to my life and set my heart on the mission for young boys, teenagers and men.  Then, we experienced “Sacred Romance” and “Desire” together.  Transforming.  Enter “Captivating”.  (I read it first.  Guys, take a hint.)  Judy went to Colorado.  On the phone from the airport returning home, Judy’s voice is quivering.  “It was the most incredible weekend of my life.”  She couldn’t say more.  We opened our house to “Epic” and 25 people on Sunday nights for 8 weeks.  Without a doubt, there is an anointing happening with the work “Ransomed Heart” is doing and we’re honored (and deeply challenged) to an ally on the Canadian front.

“Love and War” (http://www.loveandwar.net) is the most recent release of John and Stasi Eldredge.  Their tagline is “Finding the Marriage You Dreamed Of“.  Let me say right off the bat, I AM NOT a fan of marriage books.  In fact, they make me gag a bit.  For the most part, I feel like the typical marriage book is a re-hash of my Psychology 324 class.  Communication, money, kids, “his” time, “her” time, blah, blah, blah.  Theory.  Tips.  Were these authors really married?  And, mark my words, it’s only because of the credibility John and Stasi have built up with us that we picked up “Love and War”.  And within the first pages, I realized I was reading something very different.  The first chapter “Remembering What We Wanted”, set me back on my heels.  What did I want in marriage?  When I first proposed, I was 20.  Our church required us to take a marriage preparation course (oh the wisdom!).  As one of the exercises, we were to individually lay out goals for our marriage.  When Judy and I came back together to compare notes, I was hit with the stark realization that all of the goals I listed were my goals.  Goals for me.  Judy had got it.  I had missed it.  Upon reading the first chapter, I was forced to confront this again, from another angle.

At that point, Judy and I agreed to read it together.  One chapter at a time.  A significant task in itself.  This has been the most significant journey we have made together as a couple in terms of our sharing and realizations.

BUT I HAVE TO WARN YOU.

We woke up one Sunday morning (Our major quiet time together. 2 hours, coffee and tea, no kids.) having been through roughly half of the book.  And Judy said, “I don’t know if I want to read any further.“  We were coming to a realization.  We have an incredible relationship, truly blessed.  Forged by a lot of fire in ministry.  But with six kids, a significant mission, a business on the side and a very active marriage relationship we had been fatigued and this book was waking us up to EVEN MORE life.  Depth.  Hunger for each other.  Intentionality.  Difficult conversations.  Deeper prayer.  It had exposed us, as a couple, to each other.  It had exposed us, as a couple, before God.  And it was raising some serious questions and deep (sometimes difficult) conversations.  What is our shared adventure?  How do I hold myself back from her?  What do I ask from her that I need to get from God?  Incredible depth.  And healing.

John and Stasi have presented “Love and War” as a very vulnerable look into their lives as a couple.  Their stories are real.  There is an edge to their honesty that will prompt you to ask the question “Am I willing to risk this with my spouse?“.

I believe it’s God’s promise that his presence and blessing is directly proportional to our willingness to risk.  With that promise in mind, I want to give you the utmost confidence and blessing to undertake this book with your spouse.  Or, if they may not be ready, begin it on your own.  It will raise your awareness toward them and you will begin to see doors open.

My deepest thanks to John and Stasi.  The fullest of blessings on you and your boys and their future wives.